He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
