just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
