hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
