you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
