every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
