He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
