someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
