CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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