You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
