this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
