I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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