ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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