1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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