You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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