Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
