and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
