i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
