Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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