if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
