just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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