I wish I only lived at night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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