Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
