i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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