Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
