That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
