he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
