She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
