I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize