cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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