her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
