Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
