i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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