k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
