marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
