just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize