im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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