I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize