She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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