Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize