am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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