Dual....:-)
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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