This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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