ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
