After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize