Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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