I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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