if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
