I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
