There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sorry about my life...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
