I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
