So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
