i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
