Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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