Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
