Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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