Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
...so i touched it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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