she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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