You're my little dorito
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
