I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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