So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
