So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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